Why Constant Happiness Is Unrealistic

In the age of social media it looks like there is no such thing as a sad moment.
How is it that I have them often? Moments of sadness, moments of feeling inadequate, moments of feeling disappointed with my decisions, or the stage of life, or my loved one’s reactions. How come I’m not constantly happy? What is wrong with me/my life?

Sound familiar? I think those thoughts too. And you know what? They are normal thoughts. You know what isn’t normal? Thinking every other individual is constantly happy without ceasing. Seriously. The social media façade we see as so ‘normal’ is the cause of some of our darkest depression. We think everyone runs around taking perfect candid pictures mid laughter, or that all #girlstrip are a dream of a time, and that being single means constant fun or that marriage is the only true happiness. IT IS ALL A BUNCH OF MANURE! That makeup vlogger you watch probably cries herself to sleep some nights, and that fit guy you follow doesn’t joyfully wake-up every morning, and that perfectly dressed single mom of two doesn’t have the perfect life. And guess what? This happily married woman doesn’t love marriage every waking second of her life. And all that is normal.

It is normal to feel emotions across a healthy spectrum. Some days will be filled with happiness and other days will be a little more frustrating. Think of the wind; It never flows in a straight line, it has little wave forms as it blows. Without those waves we would not be able to enjoy that cool autumn wind, and our hair wouldn’t gently flow in a warm summer breeze. Wind in a straight line would be tough and aggressive. Happiness has it’s own waves- pure joy can be at its peaks, content  perhaps on its slopes, and maybe a little dissatisfaction can hide in its valleys. Maybe your peaks are more frequent, or perhaps your slopes are longer, and that is okay. We will all have different experiences in our happiness and your experience is not wrong simply because it is not an exact replica of what you see online.

Let the not-so-good days build appreciation for the good ones, and let the frustrating moments build your patience for later events. Let your heart feel sad (for a moment) if it needs to, and express your joy and satisfaction when you can. Stop comparing yourself to individuals that are only willing to share the single good minute of their day while hiding the remaining 1,339 not so good minutes. If you are thinking “well, I just don’t have good moments”, take yourself through some self reflections. Find out why, instead of continuing to build depression with comparison. You hold the reigns of your emotions, be mindful of were you lead them.

Take a deep breath and tell yourself: “(name), live life as it comes. Enjoy the good, grow from the tougher things, and continue to smile at the wind. It is okay to only be content, lets use this as fuel to find out what can bring us more joy”.

With love,
Ashley

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